10 Reasons Not to Attend the American University in Cairo (AUC) During a Revolution

10

Instead of encouraging you to stand in solidarity and join the protests against an oppressive dictator, they will bribe you to stay inside by offering pizza, and shibsy.

9

If that doesn’t convince you, they will say tell you that you are a walking target because you are American.

8

Once your home university evacuates your precious soul from the tumultuous situation, you will be forced to leave half of your belongings with AUC.  They will say they are sending it back to you, and instead sell your leftover toiletries, and unwanted clothing to compensate for the $13,000+ tuition refund your flight home is costing them.

7

You may be wondering what will happen to all the money you paid for the trips that got cancelled because of the revolution.  That goes directly to the AUC Mystery Fund.

6

Because you only have 4 hours to go out in during the day (9am-1pm), AUC kinda has to feed you dinner… Don’t worry, their kitchen conforms to “International Food Safety Standards” so you should be fine – scratch that, get ready for a long night of frequent trips to the bathroom!  Hope you brought some pepto-bismol.

5

Oh I forgot to mention, the cleaning staff have mysteriously disappeared – I’m surprise AUC let them leave the confines of the facilities, lucky them!

4

AUC tends to attract numerous East-Coasters who are basically coming here to say they’ve studied abroad or to gain said status as “Middle East Experts.”  You know how people normally go through culture shock?  Well, they haven’t had a chance to do that yet.  Have fun spending 72 straight hours with them.  Hint – arming the building with water canons and military men firing warning shots will not help their culture shock subside any faster!

3

You will have your people who actually do go to TAAAHreeeyr.  Most of them will go to take pictures and later post them on their blogs.  This is again to say they were here when it all happened!

2

There will be a constant barrage of foreign reporters trying to get your dramatic stories and misconstrue the situation to the general public in the mean time.  Note – culture shock kids make great news!

1

Oh and if you stayed the semester, do you plan on going to your graduation? Wearing hijab? Sorry, you can’t do both! (Hint: AUC supports freedom FROM religion, not OF.  Watch your prepositions.)

You can see Gigi’s post for more info on the lovely graduation happenings at AUC.

hob we salam,

Jamila

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